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Home / Latest Posts / Life / Party Ideas / How to plan a funeral/memorial service/life celebration

How to plan a funeral/memorial service/life celebration

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By: Leigh Anne WilkesPosted: 2/24/16Updated: 3/02/23

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see disclosure policy here.

Today I am sharing the post you hope you never  need.  If you follow me on Instagram you know that my father, Alan Barrie Best,  passed away a few weeks ago. He was 87 years old and had lived a good life but no matter how old someone is, it is always difficult to say goodbye. Today I’d like to share the things we did to celebrate my dad and how to plan a funeral or memorial service.

How to plan a funeral

How to Plan a Funeral

My father’s memorial service was held four days after he passed away.  We didn’t have a lot of time to pull things together but with the help of family and friends we were able to do it.

As we planned my father’s memorial service we wanted it to reflect the amazing life he had lived and the things he loved most in life – his faith, his family, golf, music and ice cream.  I think my father was pleased with what we did.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

Funeral Service

My father immigrated to the United States from Canada in his twenties to pursue a career in music.  Barrie had an amazing voice.  One of his great loves in life was Barbershop music. Because music was such an important part of my dad’s life we included lots of music in his service.

Funeral Music

The grandchildren sang the opening and closing song.  The opening was the hymn “Because I Have Heen Given Much” and the closing was the children’s song, “Families Can Be Together Forever.”  We also included my dad’s favorite hymn which was “Be Still My Soul.”  My two nieces did a beautiful job singing it.  Barbershop music was a huge part of my dad’s life.  He sang in an award winning quartet and he was the Executive Director of the Barbershop Society for many years.

We were lucky enough to have a recording of his quartet sing the song “When I Leave The World Behind.“  This was the perfect song for the memorial service.   My mother also had an old reel to reel recording of my father singing to her at their wedding ceremony.  What a treasure!!  I was able to find someone to convert it to a mp3 file and we also played it during the service.    The song was “Because God Made Thee Mine.”

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

After Service Gathering

Instead of a family dinner after the service as is typical in most Mormon funerals we decided to hold an ice cream social.  My father loved ice cream and enjoyed a large bowl before bed for most of his life.  In fact, growing up we had a freezer just for ice cream in the garage.  My dad always said, “There’s always room for ice cream, it melts and fills in the cracks.”  So it was only appropriate that we all enjoyed a hot fudge sundae in honor of my dad.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

We set up tables and chairs in one of the rooms in the church where everyone who attended the service could gather.  We had ice cream, hot fudge sauce and all the toppings. So many of my sweet friends volunteered to help me, from making the hot fudge, serving, making signs, etc.  I have been blessed with good friends.

I carried out the ice cream theme by filling empty ice cream containers with flowers for the tables.  The night before the funeral I hosted a family dinner at our home and we enjoyed ice cream pie for dessert so I had enough empty containers.  I don’t think I will ever eat ice cream again without thinking of my dad.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

My dear friend Bill made this great chalkboard sign for me.  It is exactly how my dad felt about life!

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

Some sweet friends of my sister in law made brownies.  The addition of the little golf flag was perfect.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

The ice cream social after was a wonderful opportunity to visit with friends who were there and enjoy being together sharing memories of my dad.

how to plan a funeral

How to Plan a Funeral Photo Displays

I spent several days going through old photos of my father from his childhood through current photos.  I wanted to put together a display that reflected all of the things that were important to my father.  The first section was photos of his childhood and youth.

How to Plan a Funeral

This is one of my favorite photos of my father – look at that hair!

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

Music was a huge part of my father’s life since he was a young boy so we devoted a whole section to it.  I found a great quote which I thought was perfect for display that my sister hand lettered.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

My father’s faith and church service was a huge part of his life so we showed photos from the time he served as a Mormon Bishop, Stake Patriarch, temple worker and full time missionary.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

Next was golf, the game my father loved more than any other sport.  As my husband was saying good bye to my father right before he passed, Jim asked him, “Barrie, do you think there will be golf in heaven?”  With his still present sense of humor, my father answered, “One eternal round.”

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

And finally, his family.  I found photos of my father which each of his children as a baby and then each of his grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Of course there was a photo of his precious and much loved bride, my mom.

Life Celebration}How to plan a Memorial Service/Funeral

How to Plan A Funeral Sign in Table

As people entered the chapel we had a book for them to sign their name with a photo of the Portland Oregon LDS Temple on the front, one of my father’s favorite places to be. He served as a temple worker in the Portland Temple for 25 years and only stopped working weekly in the temple a few weeks before his death.  We also had a pile of small legal pads for people to take.

My father loved legal pads and always had a dozen or so laying around.  My father was a meticulous note taker and documented his life in great detail on a daily basis. We asked everyone to take a legal pad to remember my father by.

Funeral Sign in Table

How to Plan A Funeral Details

For all the large photo displays I used frames I already had and spray painted them gold.  I then painted some pressed board we had in the garage with chalkboard paint and had my husband cut it to fit the frame.  I bought all the smaller frames at the Dollar Store along with the legal pads.  The decorative chalkboards are from Michaels,  I painted them with chalkboard paint and my sister hand lettered them.

I was able to channel my energy and grief into putting together the photo display for the service and planning an ice cream social for everyone after the service.  I hope my father was happy with our efforts,  I think he was.

After the service and ice cream social we gathered at my brothers house where we enjoyed the food that people had been so graciously and generously dropping off at our houses the last few weeks. A few nights after my father passed away a dear friend and her husband showed up at my door with an entire roasted turkey and huge loaf (we are talking HUGE) of homemade bread.  It was the perfect thing.  With family in from out of town and no time to cook or grocery shop it was a real blessing.

Lantern Memorial

The night before the memorial service we all gathered at my house for a family dinner.  We finished up last minute details on the displays and things and all the grandchildren sat in the dining room with grandmother reminiscing about all their favorite memories of grandpa.  My son, Clark, shared many of those memories at the memorial service.  After dinner we went out into our cul de sac and launched the lanterns in memory of grandpa.

Memorial Lantern Launch

All of his grandchildren were there except for two spouses  and there was one of his five great grandchildren there too!

Memorial Lantern Launch

Family Photo

Because our family is scattered and not together very often, my mother wanted to have a family photo taken. I love this photo of grandma with her grandchildren minus two.

IMG_3425

Grandma wasn’t quite sure what to do when the photographer told everyone to make a silly face.

IMG_3427

I love this photo of grandma with all her grandsons with their best Barbershop Quartet pose!

IMG_3430

When I spoke at the funeral I expressed my gratitude that I had the “Barrie Best” father my whole life!

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  1. Rayanna DeFord says

    Posted on 8/22 at 8:27 am

    Wonderful ideas! Great job. I’m in the process of doing a celebration of life for my 87 yr old uncle. Was a retired police officer, detective, narcotics and vice. You’ve given me great ideas. My cousin, who is a major news network videographer did a beautiful montage of picture s going back 3 generations, all the way to the civil war! It’s set to music I selected. Your ideas are great. Thanks for inspiration!

    Reply
    • Leigh Anne says

      Posted on 8/22 at 2:18 pm

      I am so glad the ideas were helpful. It sounds like you have a wonderful celebration planned.

      Reply
  2. Jan says

    Posted on 7/27 at 11:24 am

    Hello, Thank you so much for your post – my dad a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when he was 86 years old ( I helped : ) just passed away at the age of 91 on June 7, 2020 – we are experienceing the COVID situation making it almost impossible as time goes on to have a Celebration of Life in a local meeting house. We love the Portland Temple, we are here in Vancouver Washington. It was such a comfort to see your evident membership in our faith. Your post was the first one I opened in my search for planning my Dads’ memorial – now, looking to be maybe on the 1st Anniversary of his passing, Thank you

    Reply
  3. Stephanie says

    Posted on 11/7 at 1:23 pm

    Is there skmeplace I could buy the dessert sign? I love it and it would be perfect for my moms celebration of life.

    Reply
    • Leigh Anne says

      Posted on 11/7 at 8:05 pm

      No, a friend of mine made it for me. Sorry.

      Reply
  4. Connie says

    Posted on 1/24 at 1:10 am

    Thank you to very much! My husband just passed away and requested a celebration service/party instead of a “dead boring funeral”. He had some suggestions but basically left everything else up to me. Your post has been amazing! And very helpful. Thank you! Many Blessings Connie

    Reply
    • Leigh Anne says

      Posted on 1/24 at 8:27 am

      Connie, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that the post is helpful to you at this difficult time.

      Reply
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