A Thought}Raising Children

I love going to visit my children.  I am fortunate to have all of them in one place right now so I try to take advantage of it as much as possible.

Every time I come home from visiting them though I have a bit of a withdrawal. I feel a bit sad.  I feel a little lost and a little disoriented.  I have to refind my center of gravity.

I miss them.

I miss being their mother on a daily basis.

I miss the noise.

I miss the laughs.

I miss the messes.

I miss the cooking.

I miss serving them.

I miss all of it.

And yes, I miss the laundry.

This thought by a man I love and admire hit right to the core of it for me this week.  For you young mothers all I can say is – it’s true!
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Comments

  1. Kristi says

    I know what you mean! My daughter is a junior in college and when she was home on Christmas break I told her that if her internship for the summer didn’t work out, she still had a place to live, etc. She told me, not unkindly, “Mom, I am never going to live here again.” I think I knew that in my head but when she told me that, it took all that I had to not just cry right then and there because it was as if my heart just found out.

    We have done our jobs well, but it still hurts to be reminded that we worked ourselves right out of a job!

  2. says

    Loved that. They do grow up way too fast and you don’t realize it until they are gone. I am a lucky grandmother because my children all live here so I do get to see a lot of them and that is my greatest treasure. So hopefully young mothers can realize that and enjoy the moment that they have those beautiful children under their roof even though they can drive you crazy at times.

  3. Sharyl says

    As I left the laundry room this morning for the, literally 10th time in 24 hours….I read your post.

    My oldest turned 15 this week and is already turned into an independent young man. My three other children are over the age of 11 and I realized after this year, there will be no more children in elementary school. How did they get so big?

    Thank you slowing me down today. Hugs! Sharyl

  4. Ellen says

    My baby is 16, the only one left at home. I SO know what you mean! It passes so quickly and it is funny the things you miss!

  5. Elaine M says

    I know what you mean, I miss my 3 grown children. My daughter lives
    in another state too.(post grad) But it makes my husband and I happy knowing how much the 3 children and their spouses care and have fun together. They’ve told us that we’ve been a good example of loving parents.
    We’re so excited to be long distance grandparents-can’t wait til July!
    I love the stories of your family I believe that families are so important.
    Your recipes are yummy too-I’ve sent many to my daughter. My brother lives in Portland, so keeping a list of places to try, we try visit him during the summer.

  6. Crystal says

    DULEY NOTED!!!
    I actually y have a 2 year old and an 11 year old. And I have the NERVE to complain all day yesterday about the tantrums and the city-wide “scavenger hunts” to complete the perfect 5th grade Latin and Science Projects. You know I really said “I can’t wait until I DONT have to cook dinner every night!!!” Seriously!!!???? I am a foodie… I can’t ever see me NOT wanting to cook!!!
    I just loaded the last load of laundry in the dryer… and thought” why not check today’s updates”…. and this was a message sent straight from God!!!
    I sometimes wonder: “God, what is my purpose????”… And this post helped me realize, “I’M IN THE MIDST OF MY PERFECT PURPOSE RIGHT NOW!!!!
    The funny thing is, I live for the moment to see the baby wake up …rubbing her eyes every day! (She is sooo NOT a morning person! loll)… I thrive off the fact that I do everything I can to ensure I support my big girl in ever school endeavor… and BOST form the mountain tops that she has yet again: MADE STRAIGHT A’s!!!!
    As I place the “main character” of today’s dinner in the oven, I can’t wait to continue my “work” as Mommy/Ma/Mother….and will certainly “stop and smell the roses” much more! Continue to do all I can do to raise 2 of the most wonderfully Strong Women the world has even seen!!! After all… that is my purpose!
    Thank you, Leigh!!! For the example of a wonderful mother/homemaker/wife! You encourage me with every post!
    PS: I’ve also started running! I plan to start with my first 5 k this spring!!!
    PPSS: My 11 year old LOVES following Totally Tessa! And I LOVE to have a great example of a unique/creative/strong young woman for my daughter!—-Which totally goes back to a wonderful upbringing and a great mom! (smile)
    MANY BLESSINGS to you and your wonderful family!!!

    • says

      Crystal, Thank you so much for your sweet comment!! You made my day a little brighter. Your daughters are lucky to have you. I loved being a mother and I still love it. I am just having to learn to mother in a different way. I know this is the way life is suppose to be and I am so blessed to have children who are happy, productive and independent but I miss being a hands on daily mom. Fortunately for me I have neighbor kids who don’t mind me spoiling them once in a while! Hopefully there will be some grandchildren in my not too distant future – just need to get them married first!!

  7. Mary Kathryn says

    I commented on facebook and have made comments on here before about this but looks like I am the only comment so far with a house full of young ones still. I have five. The oldest just turned 8 and the youngest is 5 months. I really try to remind myself of this saying often. But some days it is hard to not look forward to those days. Especially this past week with so much going on and little time for household chores my bedroom is filled to the brim with laundry- clean and dirty. As I try to tackle all of it this upcoming week I will repeat this in my head. Thanks for your often reminders.

    • says

      Mary Kathryn – Thank you for sharing, as someone who is in the trenches. I totally remember how it can be a struggle when you are in the middle of it to have perspective. Been there! But trust me, as someone who is now on the other end of it I wish I had appreciate it a bit more. I have no regrets as a mother but sometimes I just wish I had taken the opportunity to enjoy the moment a little bit m ore.

  8. Tamara says

    Thanks Leigh Anne for this wonderful reminder of the blessings of being a mother. I too miss my five grown children, my 9 grandchildren, and all the fun times. Now that I am in Washington State and they are all in Arizona, it hits me more and more. You are an AWESOME mother and have taught us all so much. We both are blessed to still have our mothers here on earth with us, but we know the time will come when they will be cheeing us on from the other side. I do miss the noise, the laundry, the dinners, the chatter, the games, the cooking, etc. Thanks for bringing wonderful memories to mind.

  9. Jen says

    I’m currently buried in laundry with my 3 kiddos, thanks for the reminder. I also try to remind myself when I’m doing it how grateful I am that I can have this abundance.

    Your blog always makes me smile! Are you going to women’s conference at BYU this year?

  10. says

    I’m so excited for General Conference, as always. President Monson is a remarkable person and prophet. This just shows that he is “right on target.”
    I think I will try to recreate his saying in vinyl for the laundry room.

  11. says

    I will admit that I can fall into that category of the young mommy with two little ones who looks worn and tired, which leads to complaints that I don’t even really feel. I always tell people when I’m in that stage it’s part of the job, the lack of sleep that makes me grumpy, but that it will pass because having the opportunity to love my kids is the greatest opportunity I could ever get. Thanks for the quote – a great way to remember I’m just tired, not really upset or angry at my kids.

  12. says

    Oh Leigh Anne, if you could see my house this morning! The kids played in the creek behind our house all weekend and there was a ton of wet, smelly clothes laying in the bath tub! I just went up there and gathered them in a plastic bag and took them to the basement to wash…I didn’t even want those clothes in my laundry basket. Both of my boy’s rooms are a mess, there are Legos and video games and pillows all over the floor in the “play area” which is kind of a big square space that is a hallway, but not really a hallway. Right now, I am babysitting my 1 year old nephew and he has toys all over the living room floor and he pulled some books out of my bookcase…..omg! hahahaha! well, I am right in the midst of children and mess and noise and muddy shoes and laundry! I’m drowning a bit…but I am keeping my head just above water with cleaning. I’m half way through my dishes this morning and I’ve got laundry started, and I just put the baby down for a nap….just taking the time to look at some blogs, then it’s back to work. By the end of the day, I will have accomplished some things, but not everything. Yikes! I know I’m supposed to enjoy it…and I do!! But, of course, sometimes I keep up very well, and sometimes, like this morning, not so well! LOL!

  13. Karen says

    I think I’m almost just as busy now as when my girls were little and still at home. I know I keep myself so busy so that I don’t look around and notice they are gone.

  14. Marissa says

    Thanks for this and for all the beautiful messages of your other readers. I’m a young stay-at-home mom raising a 5 and 7-yr old. I’m sure you all can just imagine how crazy my daily schedule is, it gets exhausting sometimes. Thanks for reminding me to cherish every moment. And yeah, early as now I’m already realizing that kids grow up too fast. My kids already have a mind of their own which is a good thing but …you know.

  15. says

    Man Leigh Anne, we are in the same stage and it really does take courage to look forward and not backward. I have to try not to feel sad when I see the neighborhood kids get off the school bus, the teenagers waiting on the curb for mom to pick them up from school, the families sitting together at church,the Saturday family chores, and many other reminders throughout the day of precious days gone by. Looking ahead I have many more joys to come. Last night my oldest son from LA surprised me by bringing his 2 year old Claire with him on a business trip. Claire and Grandma RaRa have had so much fun these past two days. You can see pictures of it on taraBblog. Just wanted you to know I feel your pain. Not sure I like this plan of being out of a job I loved!

    • says

      Robin, I saw Tara’s sweet post today about your granddaughter’s surprise visit – how fun for you! I look forward to those days. So glad I’m not alone in this whole adjustment process. Someone should have prepared me better!! Look forward to seeing you the end of April when I’m back in Utah.

  16. Vicki says

    Leigh Anne;

    Loved the post. I too was a little lost after sending my daughter back to the University after spring break. She brought a young man home with her this time and I realized we may be entering another new phase of life. I was reminded of the following quote, ” Parents must give their children two things: roots and wings. Roots to keep them grounded through tough times and wings to soar above everything, explore new worlds and fly farther than we ever did.” I am glad I can say I gave her “roots and wings”. I know she will be ok and so will I.

  17. Lisa Leavitt says

    Oh my gosh!! I can so relate to everything you’ve said. My youngest just started college this fall and I’m experiencing everything you said!! LOVE this post!!!

  18. Susan says

    I am not a mother…not by choice but by biology. Mother’s Day just passed and I was blue once again.

    However, my two sisters-in-law, one of whom does not speak to me, sent me Mother’s Day texts and/or had their children send a card. Motherhood by proxy makes me proud.

    Thank you for a wonderful and warming website that I found by divine intervention.

    Best regards,

    Susan

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